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The Free Agent Fans
Dating up or Dating down?
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Do black women date up while black men date down? Or is there even such a thing as up and down in dating?
Welcome back, everybody, to another edition of the Creation Fans Podcast. Mike Jr. coming at you. Got the fellas here with me. What up, fellas? What up? What up? All right, we got uh we minus one a day, but it's all show must go on. The show must go on. One monkey don't stop, no show, as King George said, baby. You bang straight. And that's what we're doing today. So today we're gonna be talking about black women dating up, black men dating down. Now we know that ain't always the case, but we know you've all seen that relationship where you're walking out in public and you see this brother and he with this chick that's less than desirable, whether she be black or white, Asian, whatever, Hispanic, you like, damn, she pulled him. And I know me personally, when I was younger, I used to really get offended when I would see that fine ass black woman with a white dude or an Asian dude, and I'd be like, damn, you know, that's somebody that we could have, we should have kept that in the community. You know, so that's what we're gonna be talking about today. We're gonna try to get to the root of it. Of course, we can't solve it all in one day, but I got some questions. I got about five questions. Me and the fellas are gonna try to chop them up. And we're gonna start with do looks matter? Like sexual attraction? Is that a factor in dating or dating dying? It's gotta be some sort of physical attraction. You know, because when you won't even approach somebody if they weren't physically attractive, you know what I'm saying? Captain something there. Does that apply all the time? Because have you ever had a so I'm gonna play devil's advocate? Have you ever had a situation where you were friends with somebody for a long time? Now, God rest or so. I I was friends with somebody for a very long time. A lot of people didn't find her attractive. Over time, I did. And we dated. So you do have that scenario. So could you see that as a situation if they if they the down or the up or whatever, but over time, you know, you date them because you know their character at that point.
SPEAKER_03Me personally, I think it depends on if you are man or woman. I think attraction only matters to men when they are dating down. They pick nice looking women who have these enhancements, titties and ass. But women, I think when they are dating up, the guy can be as ugly as he wants to be as long as he got money. She is dating up. But men, I think men rarely date up. They do it, they do more. So let me take that back. Men date up if their status is low. We talked earlier about a guy who's just getting out of jail and he has this, he's gonna get him a big fat white girl. Just because she can help him out. So men date up when it's convenient to them or when they can get well, everybody date up when they can get something out of them. But I don't think men looks matter to men. I think looks only matter to men when they're dating down, but women, looks don't matter, I don't think, when they're dating up. And I don't know any women well who would read women date down. But let me. I don't know a lot of women who date down a lot of successful women who date down, but that's my take.
SPEAKER_06I think a lot of it has to do with your motive, as Joe said, like, you know, like if you have an arterial motive, sometimes because you if you see how that person can be an asset to you, or help you in your career, or help you whatever business venture you got going on, or if you see them as a come up, you can like say, look, yeah, this person might not be as attractive, but they have the means, they got the connections, they have the the other things I need to help me get where I need to get. Then you you stay in that situation until you that person get themselves to a certain level, and then they be like, okay, I'm bouncing. Sometimes that's that's that's the scenario too.
SPEAKER_05Opportunists is the opportunist. That's what I was gonna ask next. So are they dating up and down, kind of still are, but is it just a they just an opportunist? And, you know, or they really, well, I guess it would hurt that person that they break up with, but I mean, can you really look at that person and be like, all right, that's that's very negative, but when they just really trying to do what we are trying to do and let's just get ahead.
SPEAKER_06Well, I mean, it is it is a bad thing if you if you're leading this person to believe that you truly want them for them, if you make this person feel like, hey, I like you for your personality, for who you are as a person, and knowing in your mind, look, I'm just trying to get what I need to get, get get the connections I need to get, get the status I need to get.
SPEAKER_03So I got a question for you. Can love ever be involved when someone is dating up? Because it sounds like when you're dating up, it's always, you're always an opportunist. Because really, what why do you date up?
SPEAKER_05That's that's calm. So can can that leads in our next question?
SPEAKER_03Can you date up? Is love involved when you dating up?
SPEAKER_06I believe it is. Okay, there's a what's the reason? There's another scenario too. Say a woman been used to this certain type of guy, right? And I heard one say on this, on these, some of these shots, on these uh talk shows, pop the balloon shows, right? Yes. Where they say, you know, I've been used to a certain guy, a certain look, a certain type of guy. I want to try something different. So now they they're trying to take themselves out of what they're accustomed to to see how that plays for them. So in that sense, they can call that dating up because they might be used to this guy who has this thug, tight, hardcore. Now they might want to go with a guy who's less than that.
SPEAKER_03Well, is that dating up or is that changing your preference?
SPEAKER_06Well, it's dating up for them because they feel like they're gonna be treated better than what they've been getting treated by this type of caliber of person they used to dealing with.
SPEAKER_03So are we are we calling dating up a financial than someone who's who has more money than you? Or what what are we calling dating up?
SPEAKER_05How broad of a brush do we want to put on dating up or dating down?
SPEAKER_06I think you can bring, it's all about scenarios. It's all about situations, man, it's for real. It's all about like, if you say, look, okay, another thing too, some women, some men say, women, like women say, I don't want to deal with the man who's trying to come up. Because I've been there with the man who's trying to come up and didn't work out for me. Because guess what? When he came up, I helped him get up, he left me. So now she may be like, you know what? I'm not, if a man don't come and he got to have this, this, and this, and this, so she's raising her standards. So in that sense, that could be considered her dating up versus what she used to.
SPEAKER_03So I think that's more of a woman who's not lowering her standards, and she's saying, I don't want a man who's lower than me, I want a man who's evenly yoked, like we were talking about earlier. I don't want a man who's who's on his way up. I want somebody who's already evenly yoked as me or who's at the same level I am.
SPEAKER_06Well, it depends on us again. It depends on her mentality. So women might feel like, guess what? I've been played so many times, I ain't dealing with a dude unless he's this. He gotta be higher than me. You feel what I'm saying? Well, then you say that.
SPEAKER_05If that man already at this level, why need you? Because if you down here and you trying to get this man up here, don't get me wrong, he can probably tolerate you. But is he gonna treat you like the man that's that that's gonna come up? Because he's going through to treat you good, treat you nice, take your dates with a pretty guy options.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, right.
SPEAKER_02That's very good. I didn't think about that. So why is he two and you would be dating down? So he'd be getting exactly dating down.
SPEAKER_05I wouldn't even bother with you unless I'm just in the beginning of it. I see, and that's what that's what I was trying to get at. Is it a myth? Is dating up and dating down a myth? Because, like what JB just said, if this dude got with that lady, so now he's dating down, but she thinks she's dating up. So does it even really exist at all? The whole term dating up, dating down.
SPEAKER_03So I think when you're dating somebody, man, the conversation about finances should be had. There's there's certain conversations you should be had. And I think women don't have a problem with making less money. I think men have that issue with more dating the woman that that makes more money than them. So conversation should be had about finances and how comfortable are we with this.
SPEAKER_05I think this is just my preference, I think, that men and women are different in that aspect. Because the men, we are the leaders, whatever, we don't mind sharing what we have with. Your money don't move me as a woman. You know what I'm saying? Just because you make more money, me. Okay, yeah. You know, it ain't gonna move me. You know what I'm saying? Now for them, it's the other way around. They feel, I think women feel, I have more money, I have power over you, or whatever. But you know, as men, we don't necessarily, I don't think we necessarily feel that way. We want compassion, we want other things besides money. We gonna get money. We're gonna, you know, you know what I'm saying? Your money ain't gonna move us like that. We can make money work. You know, like what we what we have, we can make it work. Because I know my wife made more than me for the majority of our relationship. Uh I think it's within the last year and a half that I passed her. Uh so we've been together 12 years. So I know how that feels, and it never bothered me. I used to joke with her at teaser, like, you know, you my sugar mama, you know, there's little jokes here and there, but it never really bothered me because as long as the bills was getting paid and I was contributing, I wasn't laying around on my ass, you know, I just wasn't in a position that was making as much as her. But I don't think that when you look, when you look at it as far as dating up or dating down, I think you're right. You gotta consider that, that that has to come into play at some point, you know, because you know, like all those things, physical. How does she look? How does he look? And what got me to churning and thinking about this, because I started thinking about my youth and how how physically and visibly upset I used to get when I would see pretty black women with a white dude or any any dude that wasn't black. Right. And it's sad because I probably would have been happier if that successful black woman was with a bum ass black dude just because he was black. And, you know, so why should she be subject to Dane Down just to uh satisfy my races?
SPEAKER_03Well, Dr. Umar would love to bring out.
SPEAKER_05Oh, I wish we could get him over here. Oh my god. Oh man. Yeah, and if you listen to Dr.
SPEAKER_06Umar, please bless us with your press. The other thing we talked about too is sometimes, you know, we talked about some how well-to-do men might date down in the sense of getting the woman who less than them because that gives them a certain amount of control. Because they figure like, hey, if I got all this, then guess what? If I'm supporting your lifestyle, that means I can got I can be the boss. I got to say so. What you do, where you go, who you hang with. Because that's and some men use that as a weapon or use it as a just men, or do women do it too? Well, people, people, yeah, yeah. People who have that. Sometimes that's the it's all about their motives and their character and and their morals as far as when it comes to dating. And if they want to use that as a reason to keep someone in line, well, with me, I wouldn't want to control.
SPEAKER_03See, I I like a person, I don't think money matters in in my relationship. I think as long as each one of us have the hustler spirit, we're gonna get money. But I wouldn't want to control a woman who does not have a hustling spirit because she she is more, she become more of a dependent. Even if I'm financing everything and she ain't doing nothing but sit on the, I don't even want to control that. I don't even want that.
SPEAKER_06Man, some men are possessive, man. They figure like, hey, some men say, look, I just need for you to be where I need you to be. I need you to give me this, I need you to just give me that. And they don't, they don't look at it.
SPEAKER_03And why is that because she probably got those enhancements that we talked about, that ads, the pennies. So yeah, that's why you want to control them enhancements. Well, do you well?
SPEAKER_05I mean, like, not always impossible. Is it possible to control an unattractive chick? I see it like, but when you got that controlling mentality, you really don't care what she looks like if she'll be controlled. And yeah, and exactly. If you have a possessive, because I'm pretty sure that controller dude probably tried to take some fine chicks. She's like, No, I ain't putting up with that. Exactly.
SPEAKER_02Let's get funny off my face.
SPEAKER_06Single and I stuff, and I was gonna be that way. Ain't no way in the world.
SPEAKER_05I'm getting the chick that like, hey, but think about it though, you controlling and you get that fine chick, and she realized you controlling and she bounced. You get another five, and she realized she bounced. You get that ugly, she realizes she stayed. You ain't trying to, now you got what you want. She's ugly, but you control it her.
SPEAKER_03And she's gonna be like, hey daddy, can you can you get my breast done?
SPEAKER_05That's the goal, you then turn on to something. If he got money, he probably will, because now all of a sudden, like, damn, she was ugly a year ago. Now she got the breast, she got her lips puckered or whatever.
SPEAKER_06But see, this the this is the difference, though. With men, this is the trap that some men fall to that the women sometimes don't fall into, right? The men get women like that and they fuck around and get them pregnant. Oh now that's a good now. Now, guess what? And women, there are women out there who get like an athlete, a performer.
SPEAKER_05See, if I was a woman, I'd do think about it. I'd do it.
SPEAKER_01For sure.
SPEAKER_05I have five kids by five NBA players. Oh yeah.
SPEAKER_06Gino Smith has a baby mama who have another kid by another fucking NFL player. Hell yeah. So ain't dating up.
SPEAKER_02So she's dating up.
SPEAKER_06She's dating up, and she's smart. She's like, sometimes women don't realize what they're sitting on. But the women who know how to use it right, why are you gonna let a nigga just fuck you and just give you little trinkets when you white castles and bullshit ass meals and little flights? When you can get pregnant by this motherfucker and now you sit because you're gonna pay child support.
SPEAKER_05Gotta look good though. And see, that's where I was going with. And that's what you that's that's what it's become. Like, because a lot of these guys like the sports dudes, they they not they not pulling the well, some of them are, but they're not going after, you don't see them going directly after a whole lot like the famous actresses and stars. They hitting up these Instagram and getting them knocked the fuck up. And these chicks was just in this in Walmart with us yesterday. Yeah, and now she gets on Instagram, get all dialed up, look good, shaking that ass, shaking that ass. Somebody see her online. I ain't gonna say no names because I ain't trying to get sued or beat up by some football player, but they see her online, and now all of a sudden you got a baby with this chick, and she she cashing in.
SPEAKER_06And see, and that's that's the thing when it comes to men, when when you deal with a controlling woman, right? Number one, she knows how not to get herself pregnant by this motherfucker. Man, she'd be like, she like, she be like, I don't want to get pregnant by this motherfucker. I just wanted to because, and even if she does get pregnant by him, right? He ain't gonna probably get no child support. Well, how many men actually get go get child into versus women?
SPEAKER_05Let me get Oprah pregnant. I'm taking her hand to the question. But why can't? Because men, we can't do that. You know what I'm saying? I can get on Instagram and they just go call me a stupid ass motherfucker. So line, he did it with Britney Spears.
SPEAKER_03Where Strunks the penis price of penis ain't is too low. That's right. Price of pussy is five price of three sources.
SPEAKER_02Five out of five of the little shit. That's what they're kind of one thing.
SPEAKER_05That kind of answers the question as to why we see mostly men dating dime. Because our shit ain't worth as much. Is there? Because we take data and some it's part of the data.
SPEAKER_03Damn, I couldn't pull up you have to get that money, you have to get that stance. Yeah, right.
SPEAKER_05Like you just um God, you just you just gorgeous.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, yeah, like you gotta be a model or some shit. Like, that's the only other way. You gotta, yeah, you gotta be like a uh Shamar Moore. What's that? Oh, yeah, what's that dude back in the day? Steve Walker.
SPEAKER_02I was thinking about shake him out. Oh, yeah, Tyson Vegas.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, dudes like that. Yeah, that that chicks fine, you know, like animals follow.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, yeah, it's different. But you ain't one of the money of Steve way out. You ain't Tyson or Steve, he'll make the behind the A-ball.
SPEAKER_05When you talk to behind the A-bomb, you kind of locked in at Day Day. I think about shit like that though, and I think about like some of the stars white, and I hate to, you know, God rest his soul, but I always think about Kobe and how he cheated on his wife with the uh chick at uh or whatever the restaurant was. And that's you know, that's a definite day down, but I don't know what his wife is doing. Was they like high school sweethawks or something? Like you know, yeah. So maybe initially, I don't know. Do you consider that dating down or he's just trying to get it done?
SPEAKER_03He was on the roll, yeah.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, think about it. You have some time and you know, some the old show, man. Sometimes best best pussy is easy pussy to get access to. You feel that's what I was thinking about too.
SPEAKER_05Like, so where is that line? Day and that easy pussy. But now, since I now know the the price of my dick ain't shit. It ain't shit. Yeah, shit. It's losing, it's losing value. I'm questioning all the shit I did in my past. Like, I thought I was on the high end of this shit. So them bitches was using me. They was in love on Dow Jones.
SPEAKER_06They be trying to sell, sell that shit. Sell no, sell any stock. The type of stocks they sold in uh the wood for walls.
SPEAKER_00You you be in that stock and saw that shit, and it was trash, and it wasn't a trash stock. It's trash stock, nigga.
SPEAKER_05Damn, that's it. We covered all of uh five. Well, we done covered four of the five. The other one was the stereotype behind it. We kind of touched on that a little bit, and the stereotype for me was that, you know, you mostly see, because I always I don't want to equate everything to black and white. But it's what I know, is what I've seen. You know, I see uh, especially in racist ass Missouri, you see a lot of like what used to really piss me off was like I would be working wherever I would work, clothing store, wherever. I always see this black guy coming there with this heavy set white chick that's ugly as fuck, sloppy, nasty looking. And he'd be mean mugging me like I'm gonna try to take that from here. I don't want that shit. So that was one of the stereotypes. And then you would go out and you would see these fine ass, like model bodied, pretty faced black chicks, and they'd be with some white dude. Now, the white dude, granted, you know what I'm saying, low-key, no homo, they would be nice looking white dick. Or they might be profession. Yeah, yeah, but I do you would rarely see them with like fat out-of-shape white dudes. It would be them dudes that were like, oh, is this nigga a lot? Right. You know, so that was kind of my stereotype behind it. Because I've never seen any other, you know what I'm saying, anything else would go off of. So what do you guys think? Is that is that like like is that mostly what you see, or does that even matter when it comes to dating up and dating down?
SPEAKER_03Well, I think there is definitely some truth in in the stereotypes. Cause uh I rarely see black women date big burrowing, big beard fat like I rarely I've never seen it. I've never seen it. It's rare. And if it is, it ain't it ain't the good looking black woman.
SPEAKER_05No, no, right. So no, no, right.
SPEAKER_03So it's too too I don't know, I keep saying ugly, but ugly. Beauty is in the eye to be holding. Uh attract too is too unattractive. Physically unattractive. Yeah, physically unaggregated. Stop too ugly, but well, yeah, it's some truth in theory over there. Everything is black and white, man. It's binary, ones and zeros. So yeah, but uh but we do, as men, as black men, we do get them, especially if we the black men is down on their luck, they get them fair white girls, man. You out of jail, you need a place to stay, you get them fair white girls.
SPEAKER_06Hey, man. It's easy picking. So, hey, it means Amy, I took see, it is a stereotype and it's unfortunate, but I mean, you know, like you say, if you down on your luck, if you don't, you know, or you don't want to do shit, you don't want to work, you don't want more for yourself, you don't want to do things that be the self-sufficient, you get with someone who allows you not to do those things.
SPEAKER_03Right. You you do you do you see any successful black men with fat white? Very, very rare.
SPEAKER_05Who is them nigga? I don't think.
SPEAKER_06You think Missouri is bad shit? Go to Mississippi, fucking Alabama. Really this word? Mississippi. This Mississippi alone. They got black and white mixing down there? Yeah, they do. But but it's in certain certain areas, but the bigger cities. Oh, okay. Yeah, like Columbus or Tuchelow or Jackson. I have never been to Mississippi. Yeah, you're not missing because you ain't missing nothing. No, no, no offense to people who live in Mississippi.
SPEAKER_05I got unless we have fans there. If you're listening from Mississippi, hey, tell me where to go. Nice spot.
SPEAKER_06And the rest of the show can't remember.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_06That's my when James went down there and they killed him off. That's how I learned how to spell. Shut up to good time. You had to get emotional now. I mean, you can get emotional when James died off. It's a good time.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, but that's what's a that's a staple of American father. Oh, god, black American father.
SPEAKER_06Time just like all.
SPEAKER_05Yeah, James and uh Cliff Hutter. It was too screamed. Yeah, you go, yeah, yeah. Staples, man. Staples. So there it is, people. We have we have, I can't say what I was gonna say, we have cracked the myth. If I say the other word, we probably get sued by that TV show. But anyway, we have somewhat cracked the myth of dating up and dating down. And if you're a black woman out there and you listening, or a white man, or any of these ones that we talked about, hit us up on the website. Let us know if you know, if you think what we're saying is just bullshit or you got something else that you can contribute to it. You know, don't just come for us just because you that person, because if I if I see a picture of it, I'm gonna assume you're that person. If you look uh fat and shit. So we're just gonna be like, all right, you're mad for a reason.
SPEAKER_06But anyway. And we just also is want to say that this is just the opinions, not facts, of anything that's been written down. So this is the opinion of the members of the free agent fan podcast. It's not meant to offend anybody, so just keep that in mind as well. Yes, your own conclusion.
SPEAKER_03And if you're feeling if you're feeling sensitive about the the fat or ugly terms that we use, then unbig your back and get in the gym. And that means you probably are fat and you probably are ugly.
SPEAKER_06Oh my gosh.
SPEAKER_02Anyway, I apologize.
SPEAKER_04We we love you. Check out the website, me create your bands dot com. You guys stay blessed.
