Generational Relationships!

What is happening in relationships?  No more dating or courting? 

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:16

Welcome back, everybody, to another edition of the Free Agent Fans Podcast. It's your boy Mike Jr. coming at you. And I have a special guest with me today. I have niece Kyler. That's right, y'all. Niece Kyler in the house. This is my mini me. Call her O'Kurt Jr. But that's for another, that's for another day. So today, me and Nice Kyler, we're going to be talking about generational relationships because I think we had a conversation a while back and we were talking about how it is, how dating is now as opposed to when I was her age. And it's different, different.

SPEAKER_04 0:54

Yeah. Yeah, a lot has changed.

SPEAKER_00 0:57

So yeah, I was just hearing some of the stories like uh from all my nieces and nephews, my son, my daughter. It is different. And so we just gonna dive into some of this. Like, so give me a little, I guess a little overcast of some of the experiences that you see to in today's dating world now.

SPEAKER_01 1:17

A lot of people are scared of commitment and they shun marriage. Like a lot of people would rather be a girlfriend for 10 years rather than be a wife after one year. And I see that a lot in my generation because no one wants to take the time to build, no one wants to take the time to really learn someone besides like physical attraction and what their body can do for them pleasure-wise. So I deal with that a lot in my generation. Even when I talk to guys or whatever, or like try to learn people, they're just not, they don't have the same mindset as me because I just kind of think so much more highly and mature of myself. So I don't really go for any of that like smooth talk, like all the stupid stuff that they say, like get what they want out of you. So it's like I find myself a lot like talking to people and it's like, nope, not for me, and cutting them off. I just don't, I don't like running games or running in circles.

SPEAKER_00 2:04

Yeah, and see, and that that has gradually been the whole thing, that's been dying gradually. Because you know, remember back in the, well, you don't remember this, but I know watching TV shows from the like 60s, it was all about you probably marry your high school sweetheart, have kids, y'all stay together forever. And that was the that was the norm. You know, you get married, you marry that guy, you marry that gal, y'all have 20 kids, y'all stay together, and you know, the kids were expected to do the same. It has changed. Like even within my now coming up to my dating experiences. During my time, you still had those people that wanted to get married. And they were dating for a reason, a purpose. And that was that purpose. Now you had your what they call them now, thoughts. You had that. You know what I'm saying? You had that back in my day, but they were outnumbered. Kind of feel like it's the other way now.

SPEAKER_01 2:56

Yeah, it's definitely different now. There's like a couple of us that actually believe in marriage, want to get married, wanna, you know, do it the right way, and then there's just a whole bunch of women in the world that are just like, I don't care, I'll I do what I want. It's my body, you know, this, that, and the third. It's just, I think the way I was brought up and like my beliefs, since I'm a Christian, so like I like to follow a thing by the book. I don't want to just be out here giving my body to any and everybody, giving my energy to any and everybody. So it's like, I want to build something. So like when I date, I date to Mary. I don't date to just, oh, gonna break up, get a new boyfriend. Like, I don't want any of that. I want somebody that's one person that's consistent, that I'm consistent for them. And in this generation, if you find one, they in a different state or something. Like, it's just it's very, it's very few that actually want to sit down and take the work and like make something beautiful out of it.

SPEAKER_00 3:43

The the pool of available quality is is very diminished. And I get that. That that was that was kind of the case, you know. And we are watching that as we get older, as I get older, as as Nece Klyler gets older, we're watching that get worse. Because back in my day, you know, it was yeah, men outnumbered, good men outnumbered uh good women, like, you know, I would probably say two to one. Probably like four to one now.

SPEAKER_04 4:12

Yeah. You know?

SPEAKER_00 4:15

Because I see it and I I hear it. My son, you know, like I everybody knows, you know, I've talked about this before on previous podcasts. I want to be a granddad, my son. He's like, nah, dad, it ain't happening. You know, I gotta meet someone that is, you know, that I want to marry and have kids with.

SPEAKER_04 4:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 4:32

So I didn't do that. You know, I was out there popping off like trying to have a baby. You know, we was a little ignorant back in that day. It's like, you know, and I used to I used to joke with my son, I was like, man, just go out there and get them kids, you know what I'm saying? You know, he's like, nah, I can't afford them right now. I can't afford them. I'm trying to take care of myself. So I'm seeing that, but but with that being said, you know, I guess it you can equate it to, you know, the values that the kids are being taught nowadays, because I seeing all those old shows and the whole marriage thing, I never was the type that I'm thinking, like, okay, I'm finna get married. I follow my daddy's pattern. My daddy was a, he was about them streets, he was about, you know, one chick to the next. You know, it's like I I did that for a very long time. And I had to get a new mindset. And I guess you, you know, you get tired, like like what you said earlier. It's all about, you know, how much mileage do you really want to put on your body?

SPEAKER_01 5:26

Like, it's ridiculous. Like, no, well, I'm not gonna say, well, I'm saying in my in my eyes, I've seen like I feel like it's ridiculous. I would never put myself in that situation. But to women that, you know, do decide they want to do whatever whatever they want to do with their body, like that's your right. You know, I'm not shading you or feel better than you or any shape, form, or fashion. It's my opinion for myself and my body. I wouldn't put myself in that situation. Or have that narrative of myself, you know, even if you don't care, people think it's just something that I mentally wouldn't want to have to think about or feel, because I know I wouldn't feel good about myself. And that's just me personally.

SPEAKER_00 5:59

Absolutely. And ain't nothing wrong with that, man. Because you know, I yeah, yeah. You rather you rather take that route than the other route. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 6:11

So it's like, yeah, it just kind of like helps me build my character. Like, dang, if they're telling me, like, oh, it ain't about nothing, like you really you're gonna feel like this afterward. Like, you know, it's just like, why would you want to be that curious and test it out for yourself when you have multiple warning signs, like saying, like, don't do it. Yeah, you can do better. Like, you know, so I think with that whole thing, it just comes down to like who you are as a person and who you want to be as a person. Um, I personally have always been like, I guess you can call like a lover girl, like I've always loved love and I always wanted it to be like pure and not just toxic. Cause like that's another thing in our generation. They love toximity. They love, like, they eat off of like toxic, like they want a dude to be calling them out their name and they think that's cute. I find that disrespectful. Disrespectful, I'm sorry. But like, I just that's not my type of, that's not my, I don't want that in a relationship. And I don't want anyone I'm talking to or conversing with on a romantic level to ever talk down to me like that because I don't find that attractive. And that's just, like I said, my opinion. No shade to the people that do find it attractive. I'm just saying I would, I just would prefer not to be degraded in a way, you know, using derogatory names to call me whatever you want to call me. So it's like it's very big in my my generation for true.

SPEAKER_00 7:18

I'm gonna throw some shade on y'all that find it attractive. Y'all was raised bad. Because I but I always taught my my nieces and nephews, like I taught my son some of the craziest things that uh my son tells me is that when he meets, sometimes when he meets women, they they don't understand when he opens the car door for them or he does, you know, certain things that a gentleman should do. And I feel bad for him because I taught him all that, you know, and now I'm kind of like, oh, should I have, you know what I'm saying? Did I did I mess him up for you know this generation? But he's navigating with it, you know, and I just try to teach all you guys, you know, all my nieces, nephews, my kids that you want to be respectful, you want to respect your body. You know, it's a temple, you know, you you want to open doors, you want to, you know, not call them out of their name, because that's how I was raised. So any anything outside of that you just don't want to, you don't want to what do you call it, you don't want to indulge in that or you don't want to see yourself going down that road. Because it is it is 100% bad for your body and for your future, whatever. And you don't want all that malice like what they call it, uh body count. Yeah, you don't you don't want your body count too high, say so to speak. So I also think that um and I'll I'll I'll let you chime in on this as well, Kyla. The the what is it, social media has kind of I always look at your generation as a generation that don't really know how to talk to each other because in my generation, I had to go up to the girl and be like, hey, what's your name? How you doing? Can I take you out? What's your phone number? Now you can just pop online and pretend to be somebody.

SPEAKER_01 9:22

Like when we were kids, like we were outside 21st 7, we was watching TV, we was trying to catch the channels on Disney, like recording stuff. So it's like we didn't have social media back then, but when you got older to where you realize that, oh, okay, I want to start talking to people, whether it's romantic or it's friendly wise, like we did have social media, and I do think that plays a big part in like people's like persona and like who they try to portray on social media when they're really not like that in real time. And I think that just kind of is damaging in general because it's like you want to be yourself no matter what, you know, you don't want to fake it, you don't want to make this fake personality that people won't enjoy because it's just like so based off of what you see, and not everything you see online is good things. Yeah, you know, like a lot, I feel like a lot of TikTok creators actually right now in like they they have like a younger, a younger crowd that are watching them and they just they're in, you know, DV situations, like domestic violence and make situations, and like that's not a good, you know, that's not like a good thing to like kind of you're putting on the internet for the younger crowd that looks up to you, and yeah, you can be like, Well, I'm not making my content for younger kids to watch, but at the end of the day, they're still watching it. You know what I mean? You have to be fully aware of what you're doing and putting online because regardless of if you're not making the your little kids, kids are gonna find a way to see what they want to see.

SPEAKER_00 10:36

Yes, they are.

SPEAKER_01 10:37

So it's like we shouldn't glorify that because I feel like a certain amount of domestic violence is like glorified as like, oh, that's kind of cute. Like, it's like again, it goes back to that toxic mentality that everybody wants in relationships, and I just can't seem to fathom why it's so like glorious glorified. Like what happened to the yearning for women, vice versa. What happened to doing it the right way, like talking to their family members, like into introducing people to the family. Exactly. It's like we've lost all sense of that, and I feel like that's kind of where I'm just so over my generation. Because if it is a few guys out there in the world that thinks the same way I do, they're like millions light years away. You never find them. It's like always the good girls get the bad guys that ruin them, make them into a bad girl, vice versa. Good boys meet a bad girl, ruins them, makes them into a bad, because now they're like, okay, well, if she did it, then everybody can do it to me. You know, so it gives them that heartbroken mentality, which is sad, but it's like also I feel like you should be able to grow from it, be like, okay, well, that person did me wrong, but how do we catch those red flags in the next person so I make sure I don't get hurt again? If that makes sense. It's like it's just a whole lot that can be like taken in from different, different jobs, like different sections of my generation, I feel like.

SPEAKER_00 11:48

And they used to call it courting back before my generation, it was called courting. And you would quarter girl, you know, you get to know her, meet her daddy, you know, daddy tell you I love my baby, and he's holding the shotgun, you know, those type of uh, you know, you what are your intentions with my daughter? And you know, you meet the mom, you know, it's like good cop, bad cop. Mom was nice, dad was like, you know, hey, don't mess up with my daughter, you know, that type of deal, that is gone. But I I will say that uh even in my day, I did notice that when I was a good guy, a lot of girls saw it as a weakness. And when I was that bad guy, because I I could switch it on off and on, however I felt, you know, and when I was that bad guy who didn't care, you know, just like whatever, just whatever chick. I'm just trying to smash.

SPEAKER_04 12:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 12:35

They really clung to me then. They like, ooh, I want to be with this guy. Ooh, he don't seem like he really cares. And I'm like, man, this is just is this really what this is how y'all was raised? Y'all got daddy issues or what?

SPEAKER_01 12:45

And I think in this generation, a lot of women would prefer, like from what I see, because I I can't speak for everybody because I'm not everybody, but like from what I see and gather on the so on social media, a lot of women like the nonchalant, like, vibe. And me personally, I hate it so much. Cause like, where is the feelings? Where is the care? Why are you not showing this person that you care for them? Like, why are you just rubbing them off like, oh, it's whatever? Like, that's not, I feel like that's just not that's not ideal for a relationship.

SPEAKER_00 13:12

It is not, it is not.

SPEAKER_01 13:13

And that's why I feel like commitment, like I said, is like a big issue because no one wants to commit anymore. No one wants to be with one person. It's like, it's like a plague or something. Like when you think of when you say, Oh, I want to get married, like they act like it's like it's just so wrong. I'm gonna party and we were playing a game, and they were like, Oh, how long should you date somebody or how long should it take you to like get out of talk and stay your date? I said, after a month of me talking to somebody, we should already be dating at that point. Because let's be real, you're both grown enough to know what you want and what you don't want. So more than a month is insane to me, but oh, I'm talking to this person. No, at that point, if you don't want to be with me after a month of talking and going on dates and all that, yeah, we don't need to be together. Because obviously you don't want me the way I want you.

SPEAKER_04 13:51

Right.

SPEAKER_01 13:51

And then with the marriage, it's like I would, if I'm dating someone, I would want to be married either two years or a year after being with them. Because I feel like that is a respectful long amount of time to get to know someone and know if you want to be in with them forever. Yeah, you know, and I feel like people just they were looking like, what? Like, oh my gosh. And I'm just like, let me be quiet because we don't got the same views on certain things.

SPEAKER_00 14:11

That's around the morgue, me and my wife, uh two to three, like maybe. I think uh, you know, she'll know better than I do. But anyway, but yeah, we weren't, you know, we probably at that time we probably shouldn't have been getting married because we were not in a very, you know, well, we had issues. But we uh we did it. But you know, we both knew that we had all these other things that we liked about each other. But I I look at that like that whole commitment thing is it's really, it has really gotten bad because you know, back in the day, the day-to-day, our grandparents' day, even and we're not talking about niece Kyler's grandparents, because that would be my mama, but we talk my grandparents back in that day. It was all about the commitment.

SPEAKER_01 14:57

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 14:58

You know, you you commit.

SPEAKER_01 15:00

People were getting married young. And it's like, why are we looking down on that? Because like I me personally, I would prefer to be married at like 22. I'm about to be 20 and April, so I would prefer to be married at like 22, 23. Like, I don't want to be dang there touching 30 and not marry, establishing my career and not have any children by that time. Yeah, I want to build while I'm young. Who wants to have okay?

SPEAKER_04 15:19

I'm not gonna say who wants to have an old parent, but who wants to like be that old?

SPEAKER_01 15:23

Like, you know, I don't want to live the party life. I don't get no satisfaction from that. Like, I want to be tied down. That's the problem. Commitment, it all comes back to commitment. Nobody wants to commit. Like, they don't want to commit. I want to live. Plenty of people have told me, I want to live, I want to live. What are you living? You just you're messing up your kidneys, your lungs, your liver. Like, is that fun for you? Is it not fun for me? Yeah, they think that's they think that's uh they think that's that's a group, that's a group chat.

SPEAKER_00 15:49

They think that that's uh they think that that's something that you can just you know brush off or just be like, okay, we'll we'll have fun right now, but you can do both.

SPEAKER_04 16:01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 16:03

You can you can enjoy your life with that that other person, that married person or whoever you choose to be in your life. And at that point, if you like you said, if you still dating or just talking two, three months in, you still just dating a year in, and now at that point it's just about the chase. You know, am I gonna are we gonna smash or we gonna get it? Am I gonna get it? If we already get it, then what's the point in committing? What was that old saying? Why, well, how did it go? Something about uh why buy the cow when you're getting the milk for free.

SPEAKER_01 16:34

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 16:35

So it it goes back to that. If you're already getting it.

SPEAKER_01 16:40

And I think that's what's happening in my generation. They're already, everyone's, you know, already kind of just doing what they want to do. So it's like, yeah, why do I have to commit if I'm getting what I want already? And I'm doing exactly what I want, just with no titles. A lot of people don't like titles now. They say, Oh, I don't like titles. I'm like, what? I don't understand. I would never understand the way they think, but at the same time, I would never, you know, throw rocks at them because like if that's the way you want to live, that's the way you want to live. I can't judge you. You know, I would never judge anybody. But speaking off of personal experience, I would prefer to be married and established in my early 20s. I don't want to be 35, just now settling down. Like, no, I don't know. That's just not the lifestyle I would want to live by 35. I don't I want to be retired. I want to be living great.

SPEAKER_00 17:25

Like tell me about it.

SPEAKER_01 17:26

I'm honestly I'm probably not gonna be done with like school until 35.

SPEAKER_00 17:30

Like I mean, it's a goal, you know, yeah. You know, and if you set that goal, and no matter how close you are to it, you're already better off in life than if you didn't have that goal. And like I didn't have any goals, you know, I just stumbled into where I'm at. Now I knew once I got into my field that I wanted to not be still on the floor bundling cables and moving, humping equipment around. I knew that I wanted to be in management, but I mean it took me a while to get there because I wasn't really doing anything on the side to make that happen. As far as relationships go, I didn't see myself getting married. You know, I like I said, I followed my dad's blueprint. And I never really I used to tell girls I wanted to get married because I knew it had an end game for them. You know, and I'd be like, Yeah, yeah, I'm looking uh for marriage or whatever. And once I once I hit it, you know, I was like, all right, let me see how many times she's gonna let me hit it before she realizes he can get married. But that's one of those things that, you know, you grow up from.

SPEAKER_04 18:31

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 18:32

And I had a lot of growing to do. And when I did go, and at the same time, I was contradictory to what I was teaching you guys. You know, I was a walking, living, breathing contradiction. I was telling you guys, don't let no man do that to you. Don't let anybody, you know, and telling my sons, don't do that to women, but here I was, you know, doing that. So I guess as you as you mature, as you get older, but like finding that that that navigation of filtering that out, you know, like, okay, is this someone I can trust? Is this someone that's gonna give me what I'm looking for?

SPEAKER_04 19:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 19:06

How do you guys navigate that? Because you got so much social media.

SPEAKER_01 19:12

Honestly, for me personally, if I'm talking in some way, like romantically, or at least I'm trying to talk to someone romantically, for tr trust there isn't until like it's proven for me. Like, I don't I don't trust you unless you've proven that you're trustworthy. You know what I mean? Especially through social media, because you start off texting this person. If you didn't meet them, if you met them from a friend from a friend, you're gonna automatically start off on social media. Because I'm gonna get my number off.

SPEAKER_00 19:38

So I'll give you my Instagram because at least I was just about to say, what is this Instagram? What's your name?

SPEAKER_01 19:42

You can get blogs, you can get I don't want to give my number out because it's like that. I I don't plan on changing my number. If you go psycho crazy, boom, you got my number, you know?

SPEAKER_04 19:49

Right.

SPEAKER_01 19:50

So I give out my Instagram and I always give myself like a like a two, two or one week rule. Like if we're talking consistently where it's like not inappropriate, you're not making me feel uncomfortable, we're having good conversation, we're actually learning each other and talking about things that we have in common, then I'll give you my number after that. But if I see this conversation is going like just all over the place, one minute you say something that shouldn't you shouldn't be saying to a female, if you have respect for yourself and respect for her, the next minute you're like, oh no. Actually, I like the same thing you do. Now it's just like, okay, you're not, I can already see what you're about, and I'm just not having that. So, me personally, I kind of like just kind of play the weight game. Cause they might have playing the weight game. Why not, you know, reverse it and play the weight game with them, see how long it'll take them to crack before you see the real true colors. Because at that point, it doesn't take me that long to realize what kind of person you are. I can have two conversations with you and know what your motives are, no matter how much you try to hide it, just because of things I've seen and the stories I've been told. It's not that hard to pick up on those red flags.

SPEAKER_04 20:42

Right.

SPEAKER_01 20:43

So I don't really trust easily, especially when it comes to guys in this generation, because all of them are gonna lie to get what they want.

SPEAKER_04 20:48

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 20:49

And I don't I don't play like that. I value myself absolutely a lot. So I don't lies told. You're gonna have to put some footwork in when you put that footwork in, you're still not gonna get nothing. So you're gonna feel like you feel like you wasted your time and you're stupid.

SPEAKER_00 21:03

And I guess you guys can look at it as an advantage and a disadvantage because I got into the whole social media game came into play for me in my dating world in my 20s. And you guys, well, my what probably my mid-20s. Mid to, yeah, mid-20s, because I went off to war and came home, and then that's when I first I was still approaching girls when I came home back in 1993. So I would say my mid to late 20s is when the internet became popular. Everybody was online dating, you had stuff like black people meet and what Yahoo dating and all that stuff started coming out. So then it was like, oh, so we were older and able to navigate it, but you guys are having to dive into this like you're talking like what in third, fourth, fifth grade.

SPEAKER_01 21:48

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 21:48

For some people.

SPEAKER_01 21:49

Yep. I know the first time I got on social media was seventh grade, is when I first got my Instagram account. And I had twenty three followers.

SPEAKER_04 21:57

Oh, wow.

SPEAKER_01 21:58

I wasn't on there. I mean, I didn't like text anyone on there. It was just more so kind of just like look at because back then, like, we had like aesthetically pleasing stuff, like you know, little coffee video and the ASMR video that would get on their forward. See, I wasn't really thinking about boys at that time. I didn't start talking to boys until like my sophomore year of high school. And even then, it was like limited because it's like I would I didn't really talk to dudes. Like dudes would flirt with me, they would flirt with me all out of middle school and stuff like that. But I was like, ew, clues. Like I never thought of it like, oh my gosh. Like, oh he likes me. I was just like, I just want to go home and go outside. Like I was not even thinking about what he's talking about. But once I got old enough to realize like what male attraction is, I kind of started dibbling and dabbling in it, not a whole lot, but just enough to get somewhat kind of an experience. And every experience I've got, I'm grateful for because I've learned a lot. Like, I want to say I haven't talked to a guy in like two years now. Because the last dude I had to take a deep, I had to take a detox in talking to him. It was a situation where like they always want you first, and then you talk to them, and then they start ghosting you, and they're like they're not consistent enough. And then when you tell them, like, hey, like, because he goes, I he ghost to me. The first time he ghost to me, I was gonna cut him off. But my cousin was like, No, you always, you know, you always cutting people off because I'm quick to cut somebody off if you're not staying on program, like, especially if you know what you're doing, like you don't ghost nobody you claim you like. And so she's like, You're you're not getting you don't give people second chances, blah, blah, blah. So I gave him a second chance, got ghosted again. And I got ghosted for like two weeks at that point. So I unsaved his number and I just kind of moved on. Like it was, it was it hurt a little bit because like you form an attachment and like, you know, a relationship with that person, and then they do something weird. But like after that, after I cut him off and I told him like why I cut him off, he was like, Well, why? I'm like, it's self-explanatory. Like, you did some crap that you shouldn't have done, and then you want to play victim. I hate when people play victim, like it's ridiculous. But stop talking to him, and it's been two years, and I have not talked to nobody romantically. I just took a break. I was like, let me get out of like all of my college first and see how it goes. I don't need to, you know, because then it became very distracting because I was a freshman in college at that time. And I wasn't, I was kind of I wasn't slipping in my classes, but I wasn't as focused as I should have been because I was talking to this person and they were taking up all my time, wanting to be on the phone all night. Like, you know, priority had to come first. And so I'm like, you know what? You're definitely a blessing in disguise that you kept ghosting me because now I'm here on the bigger things and I know I know now, you know, how guys can really be and how conniving they can be.

SPEAKER_00 24:20

Absolutely. Finding that balance is key. And and I guess it all comes down to uh finding somebody who's in line with what you're looking for. And that takes time. And like you said, if you don't have the time, you know, your cutoff game is strong. And if they're not, you know, falling in line with what you feel like your values and what you're looking for, you gotta cut them off.

SPEAKER_04 24:44

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 24:44

And sadly, there's still some people my age that are about that toxicity. You know what I'm saying? It it it is it's sad because I I still see some, you know, I like, of course, I'm not in the dating game anymore. So I really don't know, you know, like if I was to go, but I know I do know this, I wouldn't want to be in a dating game at this stage because I see, you know, like I watch uh the pop the balloons and all that, and I see these people, you know, just popping balloons over stupid stuff, and there's like small enough.

SPEAKER_01 25:14

Yeah, preference. I mean, yeah, you can pop your balloon if he's not tall enough, but like the way they be degrading him because of their height, yeah, or just because the way they look is just ridiculous.

SPEAKER_00 25:22

Or just nonsense. Oh, well, you said uh this or you said that, and or I ain't like how you came dressed today.

SPEAKER_01 25:28

Yeah, I've seen one of them's like you dress gay. How in the heck?

SPEAKER_00 25:31

Yeah, yeah. Oh you wear as much pink as I do, and you know, my favorite color pink.

SPEAKER_01 25:36

It's a big joke.

SPEAKER_00 25:37

Yeah, I don't think they they just on there trying to get their Instagram pages popping. Yeah, everybody knows follow me, follow me on Insta. Yeah, so I yeah, it's insane, and I I just don't know like where we went wrong. I guess I don't want to like to blame everything on social media, but I know it certainly helped.

SPEAKER_01 25:59

Pardon me. Like, I really do. I feel like a lot of the reason why certain people act this way, because like think about it, like to go back to preferences. A lot of people have preferences, but they don't know how to, they don't know how to communicate that preference without it becoming like discrimination. Like you can get a guy that's like, oh, I prefer this skin tone of the other. You can just say, like, hey, I like that rather than like, why are you dogging that? Like, why aren't you becoming colors because you don't like it? You can just say, hey, I'm not into that skin tone. I like this skin tone more, and that just can be that. But I think nowadays a lot of people are scared to voice their preferences because a lot of people think just because you don't like that one thing, you're this, that, and a third. It's like just because somebody may not like a lighter skin tone doesn't mean he hates you. It's just he's not physically attracted to you, vice versa for a woman. She may not like a light-skinned me. I don't like light-skinned men at all. At all. Okay, I prefer darker skin tones, and I like to voice that in a respectful manner. Like some dudes get mad. I'm just like, well, I mean, I don't know what to tell you. If you was, yeah, you're just not my time. Yeah. And I'm I'm not saying, like, oh, you banana. Like, I'm not going in on you. I'm just saying like that I'm not physically attracted to you, and that's all right. Some there's somebody for someone out there for you. Exactly. So it's like for them to not be able to like confidently be able to voice their opinion and be okay with it, like it kind of makes it hard for you to even express your feelings online and in person with people. Like, I see that. That's another reason why you can't get a steady commitment relationship in general because no one wants to shh voice their emotions and how they feel. Like, if you feel like you're being done wrong, people like maybe you should just kind of like ignore it. No, like let that person know you don't like what's being done to you because you shouldn't be treated like that.

SPEAKER_00 27:33

Absolutely. Absolutely. So that that is what we have learned today. We got, yep, we're gonna rap, we're gonna rap. But what we have learned today is that it's all about what you feel, how you feel, and your preferences, and don't let anybody uh, you know, alter that. And it and it it it it takes work. It's gonna take work. You know, if you're young, if you're around Nece Kyler's age, you know, you anywhere from that 18 to 25, 26 year old age. It's gonna take some time.

SPEAKER_02 28:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 28:03

You know, it ain't gonna happen overnight because a lot of the values have changed, people have changed, and sometimes they somebody who's one way when they 20, 22, they may be that perfect person at 26, 27 because they've grown.

SPEAKER_01 28:18

It's okay to be different. It's okay to have different ideas on certain things. Don't be peer pressured and doing something that you don't want to do. Like stand firm on what you believe and what you want to do with your body because the end of the day it's in your body and it's nobody else's body, and you have complete control over your own body.

SPEAKER_00 28:32

So awesome. That was well said. Enough said, everybody. Hey, y'all check us out at the freeagentfans.com. It has been a great topic. Uh, we will be featuring more with uh niece Kyla, Nice Ariel. A lot of people, I'm gonna get a lot more people on this year. So, y'all stay tuned. Check us out, let us know what you think. Uh, have a blessed week.

SPEAKER_03 28:53

We out, we're not.